Resolutions are suckers. Goals are for winners (and losers who want to win). I don't see much of anything wrong with myself, so it was difficult coming up with this list.
1. First and foremost, I should submit some poems somewhere. I mean, what the hell am I doing?
2. I will not get shitfaced this year. And if I do, it will not be in my boyfriend's backyard. And if it is, I will not pass out by the sheep. And if I do, Brian will not be there to take pictures with his cellphone.
3. As soon as I get my tuition refund, I'm going to open a savings account and get on the fast-track to adulthood. I will slowly save for a house.
4. Since I'm a poet, and not exactly prolific, I will never be able to afford a house. So, I plan to find a cute Ivy League doctor who will marry me and buy me a house. In Cambridge. Of all my goals, this is the most likely to happen.
5. I will proactively cook for myself. By 'cook', I don't mean 'pour a bowl of cereal'. But that's probably what I will end up doing. Lets be real.
6. I will try to find something in this world that I love more than my cat. Of all my goals, this is the least likely to happen. Actually, this doesn't need to happen at all. She's perfection.
Me-OW.
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