There's no need/point to reason with me. I've reasoned all the points there are, and it didn't make a bit of difference. I'm aware of the economy. I'm also aware that I'm 24 with no one to support but myself, and if I'm going to be drastic now is the time.
I have no investments.
No car payments.
No rent.
If anything, my window of opportunity for "making things happen" is closing with every year I age, and at my age I'm more likely to be resilient if I fail. And there's a good chance I'll fail.
But we won't talk about that. Because even if I do fail at chasing my dreams, there are still the things that I take for granted as being certain: someday I'll be a mother (a good one) and life will go on. I'll be something domestic and real, and to someone small I'll still matter. But until then, it's just me and I can take these chances that my gut tells me to take.
A guy on PBS said that, in order to be successful at something you have to spend 10,000 hours doing it, practicing it before you reach success. I'm curious as to how he came up with that number. My dad thinks I could be a writer some day. A notable writer that you'll actually want to read, or at least heard of. But I have my doubts. Honestly, I don't think you can have dreams without doubts; doubts are half of the dream. I'm pretty sure my success as a writer is a long shot, and entirely up to me, which makes my dream more desperate and irrational than anything else.
Things I've spent 10,000 hours doing:
-The obvious
-I love you/will you marry me?
-Existing/not existing
-Making lists
-"Hi, I'm calling with a question on a misdemeanor case?"
-Driving
-Changing my mind
-Moods
-Fuck/shit/hell
-I am I am I am
Anyway, sometimes you just have to throw your arms up and fuck it all, and life will throw its arms up, too.
